


To the Moon and To Saturn

by fanfictiongreenirises



Category: Batgirl (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Background Relationships, Domestic Fluff, Don't copy to another site, Multi, Podfic Available, Stephanie Brown is Spoiler, steph wonders whether she's aro that's it that's the story, this was slightly beta-ed for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26039986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfictiongreenirises/pseuds/fanfictiongreenirises
Summary: “You ever just… have that friend, who you love because they’re amazing and all that shit, and your day is completely fulfilled if you make them smile or laugh?” Steph asked.A story of questioning, by both the author and the protagonist.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain/Brenda Miller, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	To the Moon and To Saturn

**Author's Note:**

> Projection is probably the best way to describe this.
> 
> Title from seven by Taylor Swift
> 
> Disclaimer: DC is very much not mine
> 
> The amazing [PM_reads](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMariana/pseuds/PM_reads) made a podfic for this, which is linked below!!!!

THIS FANFICTION IS HOSTED ON **ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN** , WHERE YOU CAN READ IT FOR **FREE**. IF YOU’RE READING THIS ON A DIFFERENT WEBSITE, IT WAS POSTED THERE **WITHOUT** THE AUTHOR’S CONSENT.

Steph didn’t think much of it when Cass started dating. She’d seen Cass have that thing with Superboy, for one thing, which had led absolutely nowhere. Hell, he was with _Tim_ now, of all people, which really went to show where his standards were at. (Steph ignored the fact that she and Tim had also dated for a brief period, because the thought of dating him now was… well, it wasn’t outrageous, but she just couldn’t quite picture it anymore.)

She’d moved in with Cass at the start of the year, because she’d needed a place to stay, and Cass was willing to room with her so she could cover the cost of living so close to campus. Plus, there was no way Steph could afford a car, so she and Cass shared Cass’.

The fact that Cass didn’t care for a normal job in the slightest should have made the car sharing thing an easy distribution. But Cass was somehow busier than Steph, who was in her second year of med school, so now they had to meticulously plot out a calendar for who got the car and when.

Bruce had, on _numerous_ occasions, offered to pay for a second car, but they’d refused. They didn’t have space for one, for starters (not that Bruce hadn’t offered to make up the difference for a bigger apartment as well), and they both seemed to like the cosiness of their current place.

According to Cass, the only downside was that it didn’t have a place to train. For that, she had her own little Batcave, a few blocks away from their apartment. Steph kept most of her gear there as well; only the spare Spoiler outfit was in her closet, behind a false wall.

(It hadn’t originally started off with a false wall, but after Tim had regaled the tale of how his father had discovered he was Robin, she’d hastily looked up how to make one on YouTube.)

Cass somehow made friends as easily as Dick, chatting to Steph about them every night when they had dinner in front of the TV. At this point in semester, Steph lived vicariously through her.

“I found Brenda,” Cass was saying tonight, around a mouthful of leftover pasta from when Steph had been stress cooking that morning.

“Brenda?” Steph tried to remember whether this was a familiar name or not. To be honest, she’d stopped trying to remember everyone Cass mentioned.

Cass nodded. “The waitress of the café I went to when I lived in Bludhaven,” she explained.

 _Oh_ , Steph thought. The time when she was thought to be dead. “Oh yeah, her,” she responded.

Her death was probably the one thing neither of them talked about, neatly skirting around it when it came up in conversation. It was strange, how it still remained a giant elephant between them, when they could talk about absolutely everything else. When they’d even, on occasion, spoken about _Cass’_ deaths.

“She opened up a café near my ballet studio,” Cass continued.

Steph nodded, chewing on a giant mouthful. “She’s doing good, then?”

“Better than I expected,” Cass said. “I’m glad she isn’t dead.”

They lapsed into silence again, before Cass spoke once more.

“I asked her out for coffee.”

This is nothing new, and Steph at that point hadn’t thought of it as any different to Cass’ usual dating, or even just catching up with an old friend.

“Cool,” she said. “Let me know when you need the car, or if I should stay late at the library.”

Cass whacks her with a tiny pillow in the shape of a capsicum. “It’s not like _that_ ,” she said. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Not _yet?”_ Steph raised her eyebrow.

Cass shrugged. “She probably still sees me as a little kid.”

“Huh,” Steph said. “Yeah, I can see how that might throw a wrench in potential seduction plans.”

She was still laughing when Cass threw a different pillow at her, spilling pasta absolutely everywhere.

* * *

“Steph?”

“Mmm?” Steph frowned down at her textbook, trying to read the sentence her eyes were staring down at. Her brain refused to follow through, and she refused to look up until it had complied.

“ _Steph_.”

“Yeah, Cass?” Her own words finally registered in her mind, and she glanced up to the door where Cass stood, taking in her best friend.

Cass had been wearing a decent combo of jeans and a nice shirt when she’d left. Now, she had on an additional leather jacket. It had spikes on the shoulders and it suited Cass _perfectly_.

“This is for you.” Cass stepped forward and placed a to-go box on the giant stack of textbooks that sat on Steph’s desk, the only real spare bit of space.

Steph opened it up immediately. Food was the _perfect_ excuse to take a study break. “Thanks!” she said. “You didn’t have to bring me back anything, but I love you and please continue to do so anyway.”

Steph could hear Cass’ laugh as she walked down the hallway and into her own room, probably to change. Steph was mostly sure Cass had a baking class tonight, but she could never keep track of her friend’s schedule.

Inside the box was a purple cupcake. It had purple icing showered in glitter, and with three Maltesers perfectly placed on top. Steph took a photo for her very dusty Instagram account, and then took a bite.

* * *

Steph had a rare day off from work and studying for once, and the weather in Gotham had decided to reward her.

“Cass,” she called, shutting the door behind her and toeing off her shoes. “You home?”

Cass’ head popped out of the kitchen, a wooden spoon in hand. “Yes?” she said. “Why’re you?”

“The lecture took half the time it was meant to. What’re you making?”

“Brownies.” Cass brought out the bowl of brown sugary goodness she was mixing as Steph walked through their apartment, shedding various clothes and items as she went.

Her bag went on the back of her chair, and she rooted deep in it to pull out the remaining scraps of food she’d taken with her on campus. They’d learnt all too well what would happen if food stayed in Steph’s bag after she got home.

“So I have tomorrow free,” Steph said, shimmying out of her jeans and into something more comfortable. She missed lounging around in sweatpants. “And we’ve barely done anything together for _ages_. So… picnic?”

Cass, who was standing in Steph’s doorway still stirring, hesitated for just a moment, and Steph’s smile faded a little.

“Or not,” she said, quickly backtracking. “I can never remember your schedule. If you have something on, it’s fine. I can always use the extra study time—”

“No, it’s fine,” Cass said. “It’s just… I have that… date tomorrow. The one I was telling you about.”

 _Which one?_ Steph wanted to ask. She’d heard about three different dates Cass had gone on in the past month, and couldn’t quite remember any of their names.

“Brenda?” she said slowly, and was rewarded by a quick nod and smile. “Wait, did you tell me how the first maybe date went? What number is this one?”

“Third,” Cass said. “I like her.”

And that was when Steph’s stomach dropped out.

“Invite her to the picnic,” she suggested. “Or not. I don’t wanna third wheel or anything.”

“Okay,” Cass interrupted, in that casually blunt way of hers that Steph adored. Silent strength and all that.

“Okay.” Steph took a breath, trying to remember what she’d been about to do before she got interrupted by her mind jarring to a halt. “Uh, we gotta make a list. Of food we want to bring. It’s gotta be a nice picnic if your girlfriend’s coming along.”

Cass blinked. “Is she my girlfriend now?” she asked, not as though she was surprised, but like she was considering it.

“I mean, if you want her to be?” Steph got out a notebook and swung herself up onto a clean spot on the countertop, legs swinging as she tapped a pen against the paper. “But going on a few dates doesn’t have to mean you guys are… girlfriends. What food does she like? She allergic to anything?”

Maybe Steph had ulterior motives for changing the subject so abruptly, but Cass didn’t look suspicious at all when she responded.

The day of the picnic dawned bright and clear, and Steph rewarded her beautifully clear schedule with an hour of lying in bed staring at the sky outside, doing absolutely fuck-all as she half-heartedly scrolled through TikTok looking at frog videos.

“Ready?” Cass poked her head into Steph’s room.

“Mmhmm,” Steph responded, burrowing back under the covers. “Yeah, just give me a sec. I’m not done waking up yet— _no_ —”

Cass had leapt onto her, yanking the covers off and spraying Steph’s face with a spray bottle that sat on the windowsill for her dying orchid.

“Are you ready now?” Cass asked, still kneeling on the edge of the mattress.

Steph glared at her, sticking out a leg in an attempt to shove Cass off. Cass let it land, falling off in a controlled tumble and landing with a smug look on her face, her eyebrow arched as though saying, _really?_

“I can’t believe you’d _ambush_ me like that,” Steph grumbled, getting up. “My first proper free morning in _weeks_ , too. You can kiss any chances of getting the good cookies goodbye.”

Cass snorted. “All your cookies are good,” she said.

Steph watched her go, a fond smile on her face even as she started pulling clothes out of the closet to get changed.

She hadn’t met Brenda yet. Before Cass had found her here again, everything Steph had known about her was from a hushed conversation a few months after Steph had returned. They’d both been groggily awake, Steph from nightmares and Cass reluctant to sleep because of them.

Steph had been crashing in Barbara’s extra room for the night, the room that was technically Cass’. The bed was a double, and technically big enough for two people, but with how tall Steph was, and Cass’ interesting sleeping positions, it was a wonder they both had sheets in the morning.

“I think she died in the explosion,” Cass had whispered. “I liked her. She was nice to me. I think she was my friend.”

And that was all that had been said. Cass in general didn’t discuss her past personal life much – it was mainly through Tim that Steph had found out about Cass and Kon, through Barbara that she’d heard about Shiva – but she was _especially_ close-lipped about the time Steph had been gone. Steph didn’t know whether it was Bruce’s influence or just Cass’ nature.

Steph dressed quickly, grabbing a book that Jason had been trying to get her to read for ages just in case it got awkward.

Cass had a wicker basket in hand and was placing the food they’d prepared the previous day inside. Steph’s eyebrows rose.

“Where’d that come from?” she asked.

“Alfred lent it to us when he heard we were picnicking. And he promised to make sure it would go as uninterrupted as it can,” Cass told her, which meant that short of a threat to the universe, they’d go undisturbed.

“We’ll have to bring him back a bouquet or something. Did he really like that flower crown we made him that one time?”

Cass wrinkled her nose. “He didn’t like that the roses still had thorns.”

“Okay, yeah, that makes sense.”

* * *

Steph had finished her semester finals and was lying on Tim’s bed in the Manor, keeping him company as he ‘spring cleaned’, because apparently that was the deal they’d struck with Alfred when trying to convince him to lessen his workload.

The ceiling was her favourite part of Tim’s room. Damian had, for one of Tim’s birthdays, painted the entirety of it in varying colours. It transitioned from a clear night’s sky (complete with accurate constellations) to a cloudy summer’s day, to a gorgeous sunset with a sliver of a new moon visible. Damian didn’t do things by halves; it was absolutely breathtaking.

She could still remember the confused, hysterical phone call she’d received from Tim when he’d seen it, with absolutely no idea how to respond or reciprocate.

“You ever just… have that friend, who you love because they’re amazing and all that shit, and your day is completely fulfilled if you make them smile or _laugh_?” Steph asked, swinging a leg lazily.

Tim’s head poked out from where it had been buried in his sock drawer. Steph craned her neck backwards to make eye contact.

“Uh,” Tim said, “yeah. That was like… well, that’s sort of like what Kon said to me this one time. About how he felt about me.”

It wasn’t as visible on Tim’s brown skin, but Steph could spot his face reddening and it made her grin.

“Aww,” she cooed. “That’s so _sappy_.”

“So this a new crush or something?” Tim asked casually.

Steph frowned. “No?” she said slowly. “I said friend, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but,” Tim paused, “yeah, you did. Never mind.”

Steph didn’t say what she wanted to say, which was _loving someone and wanting to make them smile doesn’t make my intentions romantic_. She didn’t go into a rant, because she honestly had no idea what she would even be ranting _about_.

An hour or so later, with Tim’s upper half now sticking under his bed rooting through shoeboxes and other lost treasures – or empty packets and wrappers, really – he spoke again, a little tentative.

“This is gonna sound weird,” he said.

“Oh boy,” Steph muttered from the spinny chair she was perching on. “With you, that could anything from a gross anecdote about your sex life, or a weird murder fact.”

Tim only huffed a breath in response, before continuing: “Why’d you date me?”

Steph let out a genuine laugh now. “Believe me, I ask myself the same thing every single day since.”

“No, like,” Tim frowned, “how did _not_ dating me change the way you feel about me? Like, did you fall out of love at some point, to move on, or—”

“ _Whoa_.” Steph sat up in the chair properly. “What the _fuck_ , Tim, you can’t just spring a question like that on me, and you’re _dating Kon_ who’s now one of my _friends_ , I’m not going to—”

“It’s not for _me_ ,” Tim spoke over her in a louder voice, head sticking out from the other end of the bed. “Just answer the question, Steph!”

Steph opened her mouth to respond angrily, and then closed it again. She shrugged. “I dunno, maybe? That part of my life just… feels so fake, y’know? Like I was living a weird dream. It wasn’t perfect or anything, and I _know_ that, but sometimes I miss how simple things were. I miss…”

She missed how her relationship with her mother had been, before she’d died and been whisked off by Leslie. Sometimes, when she was in a partly dark mood, she even missed who she’d been before she’d been tortured and killed.

“Yeah,” Tim said softly, looking down at the floor between his elbows. “But…” he hesitated as he looked back up at her, expression thoughtful. “I was in love with you, like, _really_ in love with you. I don’t know if it’s the same as how I love Kon, because I was like fifteen when we dated, and I’m glad we’re friends now and I love Kon. And I _did_ fall out of love with you. Or it just stopped being so strong, I guess? I can’t tell you exactly when or how it happened, but it did.”

Steph frowned. “What, you think I didn’t love you as much as you loved me?”

Tim shrugged. “I know you loved me, and I know you still love me. But did you date me because it was the thing to do, or because you really wanted to?”

Steph blinked. “What?”

“A few people I dated I look back on now and it’s like… there was nothing there? People I would’ve been just as happy being only friends with.” Tim shook his head, and dust bunnies flew down all around him, making him sneeze three times.

Steph threw the tissue box at him, and it hit Tim in the face, prompting another sneeze. It was moments like this that made her want to start up a TikTok career.

“Like who?” she asked sceptically. “You were _really_ into everyone you dated.”

“Like… Zo,” Tim said. “I really liked her, and she was really cool, but now I think I dated her because she was into me and wanted to date, and I figured… why not?”

Steph blinked at him. “Okay,” she said. “And the rest?”

“Like you and Kon and Arianna?” Tim laughed at the look on Steph’s face at the mention of his first girlfriend. “I still don’t get why you don’t like her. It was _ages_ ago—”

“She was _weird_ —” Steph protested.

“Only around _you_ because she thought I was cheating on her with you—”

“And you fucking _were!_ ” Steph said, rising to her knees to further emphasise her words. “Man, high school was a messed-up time.”

Tim grimaced. “Yeah. She deserved so much better.”

“She really did. So did _I,_ now that I think about it. What was I thinking, being the mistress in the situation.” She ducked the discoloured sock Tim threw at her, almost losing her balance as the chair spun wildly.

There was a lull in the conversation and then Tim spoke again. “Do you like me and Cass the same way?” His voice was hushed, the sort of tone that belonged to pillow forts and torches.

Steph didn’t know what to say. “No…” she replied slowly. “You’re… _you_. And Cass is…”

“The one you were talking about before, right?”

Steph wrinkled her nose. “That was an easy leap,” she complained. “She’s my best friend.”

“Kon’s my best friend,” Tim offered.

All of Steph’s good mood vanished with that one sentence. “For fuck’s sake, Tim,” she said, getting up. “Not everything has to be about who I want to fuck or date.”

She was out the window before she could hear Tim’s reply.

* * *

She _hated_ Tim for making her re-evaluate how she behaved around Cass. Did Cass think she wanted to date her, to have sex with her? Were her actions flirty?

Steph had only ever intentionally flirted with Tim. She remembered the first guy she’d ever had sex with, how she’d only agreed to it because everyone else was trying it, how it was fun and she’d wanted to try it again, maybe, and how she’d agreed to a date because she didn’t think it was a _date_ date.

What _had_ she been doing with Tim? There was no doubt she’d loved him – she still loved him – but her feelings had never changed dramatically in the length of time she’d known him. He’d been cute, and he’d been a cool _vigilante_ and working with Batman, and…

Steph winced at the thought that perhaps she’d tried to date Tim to get in with Batman. But no, that wasn’t true, or at least it wasn’t the _entirety_ of it, because she’d genuinely had fun with Tim on their dates, just like she had fun hanging out with him now.

Steph angrily stabbed her fork into the pasta as she realised what Tim had meant when he’d asked her all those questions. Her feelings for him _hadn’t_ changed.

Her definition of a crush might have, though. Because the way she felt about Cass and how she remembered feeling about Tim when they’d been dating were nowhere near the same. She couldn’t describe it, but Cass was... _more_.

“What?” Cass asked, on the other side of the couch. “It’s a happy scene.”

“What?” Steph paid attention to the TV for the first time since getting home and saw the sparring match between the two characters. “What’re we watching, again?”

Cass shrugged. “Dunno,” she said. “It had cool fighting so I put it on.”

 _Fair enough_ , Steph thought. “Hey,” she said, waiting until Cass looked at her to continue. “How do you feel about Brenda?”

Cass blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Like,” Steph paused, “are you in love with her? Do you really like her? How does it _feel?”_

Cass looked at her. “What do you mean?” she said finally.

“I don’t know, do you get _fireworks_ in your belly when you’re around her, do you want to _always_ be with her, does the sight of her make you _smile_ , all that crap.”

“I’m happy to be around her,” Cass said carefully, like she was tiptoeing around Steph. “She makes me smile. And she’s fun to talk to.”

Steph practically steamrolled over her to get out her next question, because this was _not_ happening. “And Kon? When you guys had your thing? Was it the same?”

Cass frowned a little. “Yeah? Kind of? I know Brenda more than I knew Kon. With Kon it was more about the sex appeal.”

Okay. This, Steph could work with. “And Brenda? There’s sex appeal there, right?”

“Yup,” Cass said. “But right now we’re taking it slow.”

“Is there sex appeal with _me?”_ Steph asked.

“You mean, would I have sex with you?” she asked, and Steph nodded. “Yes, probably. I wouldn’t say _no_ to it, if you wanted to?”

“Oh,” Steph said.

“You’re… are you okay with that?” Cass asked, absolutely still.

“Yeah.” And Steph was. She just… was also insanely _confused_.

She’d thought that feeling differently about Cass than she felt about Tim meant that she was _in love_ with Cass, but now, she didn’t know _what_ to think. She’d never looked at someone _seriously_ and thought about having sex with them, or even really about dating them. It was just… a thing.

And if she wasn’t in love with Cass, then how did that explain her reaction when Cass had mentioned that she really liked Brenda? How did that make sense amongst any of this?

* * *

“I invited Brenda over tomorrow night,” Cass said, about a week later.

“That’s fine,” Steph said immediately. “I’ll clear out so you guys can have your space. You want the car, too? I’ll camp out at Bruce’s, or Barbara’s.”

“You can have the car.” Cass reached over and squeezed her hand. “Thanks. I owe you for when you start dating.”

Before this whole mess of conversations with Tim and then with Cass, Steph wouldn’t have given Cass’ words a second thought. Now, her smile stilled on her face, but she forced it to stay in place.

“Better write that down somewhere,” she said with a light laugh. “Med school likes to pretend I don’t have a life outside lectures and labs.”

The following night, Steph didn’t bother returning to the apartment. Instead, she took a bus straight to Barbara’s. It was just her luck that it started raining, and she’d left her umbrella at home. Steph was soaked by the time she entered through Babs’ front door.

“Shoes off,” Barbara called. “You better not be tracking mud inside.”

Steph grumbled just loud enough for Barbara to hear her, having already been halfway through taking off her boots. She dumped her overcoat on the chair entirely for this purpose before stepping inside.

Barbara was, as always, in front of an absolute wall of screens. Steph sometimes got headaches just _thinking_ about the amount of information she was constantly processing.

“Hey,” Barbara said, turning to smile at Steph. “How was class?”

“As bloody as always,” Steph responded cheerfully. “Watched a video on how to dissect a frog. I felt like I was in high school all over again.”

Barbara snorted. “Yeah. Those were the days.” She cleared her throat. “How’re you two doing? I’ve barely seen Cass since she started dating Brenda.”

“Honestly, it’s better than I thought it was going to be.” Steph let out a nervous laugh. “When she first told me she was going on like a second or third date, I was… I dunno, it’s like I thought I lost her to some girl. I _definitely_ panicked over it, so don’t go about telling Cass any of this.”

Barbara snorted. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” she said. “You kids and your weird teen relationship problems.”

“Firstly, we’re _young adults_ now, so jot that down. Secondly, like you and Dick don’t have yours,” Steph said.

“Touché,” Barbara sighed. “Although this time I think it’s done for good.”

“That’s what you said last time as well.”

Barbara’s mouth twisted unhappily. “There’s only so long you can keep trying, y’know? And Dick and me… neither of us are the priority in each other’s lives, but we aren’t cut out for anything less than serious. The timing’s always bad.”

Steph placed her hands on Barbara’s shoulders, kneading them slightly. “On the bright side, now you won’t have to wax your whole body anymore,” she said.

Barbara huffed a little laugh. “What makes you think I did before?”

“That’s a good point.”

“That reminds me.” Barbara reached down and fished out a paper bag from beneath the desk. “Tim wanted me to give you these. Said he made some assumptions that were dumb and he’s sorry for being,” she frowns, as though trying to remember the exact phrasing, “ _a brainwashed heteronormative minion of Hollywood_.”

“He’s forgiven for admitting it,” Steph said. “But if these are tips on how to get my best friend to date me, I’ll never talk to him again.”

She reached into the bag and pulled out a binder. It was eggplant purple, which made her smile. Inside it was a stack of information. Steph frowned a little, chewing on her lip.

“These are just all the articles and notes he made right before he started dating Kon,” she said, flicking through. “With sexual identities.”

Babs glanced at her. “Go to the back,” she advised.

Steph complied. “Aromantism?” she said. “I know what aromantism is.”

Barbara shrugged. “Tim just wanted me to give it to you. But I’m here to talk if you’re going through anything, and I love you—”

Steph made an embarrassed noise. “I’m not going through anything!” she said. “I’m _fine_. It’s just everyone _else_ who thinks I should be going through something.”

“And that’s completely fine, too,” Barbara said, unperturbed.

Steph grabbed the bag. “I’ll be in the other room,” she said. “Yell if you need anything.”

* * *

Steph hadn’t even planned on going through the binder, but it was _interesting_. Plus, Tim had styled it in the form of a Tumblr presentation, which made it entertaining as well.

It was pretty clear he thought she was somewhere on the asexual and slash or the aromantic spectrum. Steph’s mouth twisted at the amount of additional information in that section of the binder, all the extra little post-it notes that littered the pages.

She got that Tim was trying to be helpful, but… Or maybe she was just in denial?

But why would Steph be in denial – shouldn’t this come as a great source of _relief_ , a freeing feeling? Shouldn’t she see a description and just have it _click_ with her, if it was right?

Way back in late high school, Steph had realised that she didn’t really care about gender when it came to attraction. She’d asked herself, _would I have sex with_ and filled in the ending. The answer was always a little bit of a shrug, but never an outright _no_. So Steph had concluded that she probably wasn’t straight, and maybe leaned towards bisexuality or pansexuality.

She’d just always assumed Hollywood upped the ante when it came to passion and romance. It was such a widespread theme in media that there was no other explanation for Steph.

But she _enjoyed_ sex – she’d liked it that first time, and on the other occasions she’d slept with someone.

She glanced down at the little note Tim had helpfully put there. ‘What do you consider romantic dating to be, compared to a date with a friend? Would you be satisfied for the rest of your life if you only ever went on friend dates?’

Honestly, Steph thought, _yes_. She considered her life right now, and the life she was doing this degree to have. She was… completely and utterly alright with the thought of no significant other in her future, just a range of friends and the sort of family she and Cass and Barbara were, with maybe the addition of the Bats.

Did she miss kissing someone, someone who was _hers_?

 _But Cass is mine_ , her mind said.

Did she want to kiss Cass? Steph tried to picture it, imagining going up to Cass and pulling her in, burying her hands in Cass’ silky hair and cupping the defined arch of her jaw. The answer was a confused _yes_.

Steph wanted to punch something, but even more than that, she wanted to _talk_ to someone. Striding out of the room, she stomped over to where she’d last seen Barbara.

“Babs,” she called. “I’m going through something and I want to discuss.”

Barbara popped her head out of the kitchen, and a moment later, Dick’s head also poked out.

“Hey, Steph,” he said with a little wave. “I’m here if you want my opinions, too! Or I can clear out, too—”

“You can stay, you’re fine,” Steph said with an impatient wave of her hand. “This won’t take very long.”

“Uh, okay,” Barbara said, putting her glasses back on.

Steph did her absolute best to ignore the rumpled look the two of them sported. “So Cass is my friend.” She waited for a hum of agreement from both of them. “I don’t want to date her. I wouldn’t mind having sex with her,” Dick’s eyebrows shot up, as though he was just realising what sort of a conversation he was in for, “and I might want to kiss her. According to Tim’s handbook, that makes me…” she scanned down the helpful little map he’d created at the back of the Aro/Ace section, “maybe greysexual, probably aro. Opinions?”

“Cool?” Dick said. “You seem to have it figured out? But it’s also cool if you don’t, and you don’t necessarily need a label, either, if you find them restrictive. Labels are only useful if you find them useful, if you get me.”

“I get you,” Steph said.

“What Dick said,” Barbara told her. “No two individuals are alike. Sometimes a label just won’t fully encompass what you want it to. If you want to put a name to how you identify, though, they can be useful and nice to have. And it’s nice to have a community. But it’s about _you_ and doing what’s necessary for you, and you don’t have to conform to anyone’s expectations of your orientations.”

“Also, you can change anytime you want,” Dick added, finally turning his face away from gazing at Babs with mooning eyes throughout her mini speech. “If you change your mind. It’s not set in stone.”

“Not… exactly what I had in mind when I asked for opinions, but thanks,” Steph said, a little flabbergasted at their words. But she couldn’t deny that it set off something warm inside her. “You did kinda answer my question, I guess. But what should I do about the whole Cass situation, and,” she turned to Dick with a fierce glare, “you can’t tell her any of this.”

“Of course,” Dick said.

“What do you want to do about the Cass situation?” Barbara asked. “Also, what’s the situation?”

Steph stepped fully into the kitchen, looking around for any suspicious stains or spills before finding a good place to sit on the countertop. “Do I want to date her or not?”

Barbara shrugged. “Well, how do you feel about her dating Brenda now?”

“Better than at first, now that I know she isn’t going to turn into one of _those_ people,” Steph said. “Like, the people in high school who’d start dating someone and they’d ditch all their friends and suddenly a year later they reappear in your life because they broke up, but they do it _again_ the next time a hot bod walks by—”

“So you just didn’t want to lose your friend,” Dick said.

Steph hesitated. “I think?” she said.

Barbara considered her. “Do you want to date Cass? Or do you just want things to stay the way they are, and you think that dating her will do that?”

“Yes,” Steph said after a moment. “That second one. More than the first.”

“Then I feel like you and Cass need to have a talk,” Barbara told her with a warm smile. “And if it turns out you _do_ want to date her, if not now then later at some point, then just talk to her again. If there’s one thing I know about Cass, it’s that she loves you.”

“I love her too,” Steph said.

**Author's Note:**

> So... yeah. This is entirely projection and the somewhat abrupt ending is a result of that.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] To the Moon and To Saturn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296714) by [PM_reads (PrincessMariana)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMariana/pseuds/PM_reads)




End file.
